37: It's all Just Words

It’s all just words,
sitting in my inbox,
blinking on my phone,
arriving in the mail,
beamed inside my home.

It really doesn’t tell you,
what you need to know;
only letting on the ‘truth’,
the one they wish to share.
It’s not the truth at all,
so buyer please beware!

There’s always an agenda,
sometimes clear, often not.
Make sure you look,
beyond the words;
pay attention,
check the motive.
It’s not the words that matter.
It’s the actions that are potent.

Lady Satellite

36: Alone

Alone is a feeling,
not just a situation;
a sense of isolation, or worse
of intense desolation;
a place inside,
that nobody knows;
because they do not ask,
or you do not show.

Alone can happen,
in a crowded room,
disconnected
from the chatter and hum;
something stopping you,
from reaching out;
with words and gestures,
to bridge the gap;
some silent fear,
holding you back.

Alone can be welcome solace,
like a comforting hug;
when you’ve been in company,
but not as yourself;
playing a part,
to suit everyone else.

Alone can be your enemy,
or perhaps make it your friend;
as perspective changes,
so reality bends.

Lady Satellite

35: Making Memories

With my feet buried in the warm sand,
after eating our fill of the sea’s harvest;
sit and watch the sunlight gently playing,
on the lapping bay-water with me.
Memories are made of this.

With good friends happily sleeping,
in swags around the camp fire;
steal away to the high ground
and lie with me counting stars.
Memories are made of this.

When the sun moves around to the west,
after a perfect summer’s day by the river;
take my hand and lead me slowly,
through the trees to watch the sun set.
Memories are made of this.

With our backs against a shady tree,
as the grand children squeal and dash,
through the sprinklers on the lawn,
Sit a while and lean in close,
Reminisce awhile with me.

Lady Satellite

34: Journey into Madness

Toxic! Toxic!
Warning! Keep Away!
The signs flash, in sickly green light.
Now why did I, ignore that,
that very first night?

Could have! Should have!
Steered a different course.
Ignorant, naïve and foolish,
I approached the danger zone.
Irradiation was my wish.

Danger! Danger!
Withered foes lie strewn.
A landscape, full of human debris,
yet I can’t see him,
as the cause of all this misery.

Madness! Madness!
Insanity lies beyond.
I willingly tread, on contaminated land.
Not wishing, to go back.
Think I can handle this man.

Poison! Poison!
Running through my veins.
The sickness spreads insidiously.
The innocent are slain.
All gone; my integrity.

Painful! Painful!
To leave or to stay.
Perdition is hard to escape.
Every step filled with fear and dread.
In my foggy mind I prayed.

Guilty! Guilty!
Feelings in my heart.
Every day, I see their pain.
It registers and huddles with my own,
in a frightened corner of my brain.

Escape! Escape!
Go now! Save a life!
Dangerously, unstable now,
you teeter on the edge,
I know what to do; but how?

Away! Away!
Reach out, help comes in.
It’s not easy. I don’t deny;
but angels do exist.
They were standing by my side.

Lady Satellite

Thanks to all my angels; past, present and future.

33: The Child

Feed me
love me
nourish me
forever.

Guide me
love me
treasure me
as I grow.

Hear me
love me
heal me
once again.

Watch me
give me space
love me
let me go.

Lady Satellite

32: A Love Hate Relationship with Relationships

Love to spread out at night;
hate the space in my bed.

Love having no one to judge;
hate having no one to admire.

Love having no one to tell;
hate having no one to ask.

Love having no one to feed;
hate eating on my own.

Love having the house to myself;
hate feeling alone.

Love the freedom to choose;
hate the responsibility I cannot share.

Love not being needed;
hate having no one that cares.

Love having my own place;
hate having to do the maintenance.

Love the peace and quiet;
hate the silent emptiness.

Love having no one to please;
hate having no one to pleasure.

Love having no one to torment;
hate having no one to treasure.

Lady Satellite

31: Honesty

Honesty defines a person,
yet what does it really mean?
Such an easy thing to utter,
to say hotly, “I am honest!”
But to live it is truly challenging.
The truth is powerful,
it often causes anguish,
to the bearer and receiver.
Use it carefully and with thought.
Beware the majority around you,
who do not have the strength required.

To avoid something, because it is difficult,
does none of us a favour.
As we skirt around the issues,
hoping another will make it easier;
we wait and hope for intervention,
that will release us from the pain,
of taking responsibility, for the truth.
But this is not honesty,
just procrastination based on fear!
Honesty may not make you popular.
It can be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.
You may be cast out and condemned.
Such integrity requires courage,

but do not expect reward.

Many people claim honesty
and stand high upon their soapbox,
declaring righteousness,
about trivial matters.
But give them human relationships,
matters of the heart,
they would rather run and hide,
than speak with honesty,
of their feelings or lack thereof.
They deceive openly,
or go silent in reply.
The most difficult type of honesty it seems,
is the one that says goodbye,
cleanly and without lies.

Lady Satellite

The style of this poem is deliberately jagged. It tackles an awkward subject which I did not want to dress up in balanced rhymes and humour. The style is honest like the subject.

30: The Words Don't Lie

I’m in no hurry to start my day,
plenty of things I’d rather say,
with pen in hand and paper beneath,
tumbling words across the sheet.

Everything else will have to wait,
I find it hard to motivate,
myself to move out of this bed,
until I’ve writ what’s in my head.

Why this obsession has taken over me,
or where it will end, I cannot see;
but write I must, the words just flow,
queuing to be crafted, longing to be known.

Their home is not just my abode,
these words that come, to the world are owed.
I have a duty to get them out,
for all the world to see and shout.

Lady Satellite

29: The Worm

Sometimes things need to be said;
unwelcome thoughts wander in your head.
They arise unbidden and won’t be ignored.
They’ll drive you insane.
You’ll be sick of them and bored.

So tackle them you must,
if you want them to be gone.
Deal with the issue,
say what you must.
Face it now, head on.

If you want your equilibrium back,
your peace to be restored;
you must speak your truth and rid yourself
of this worm that’s eating you.

It is not easy,
you may be afraid,
of the actions that come after;
but you cannot live a happy life,
with termites in your rafters.

Left unchecked nobody knows,
the destruction wrought inside.
You still appear the same,
to those that don’t want to see;
but you feel the damage spreading.
How much longer can you hide?

With a smile stuck on your face,
disaster lurks around the corner;
waiting for a perfect storm,
to blow the roof right off your place.
Such a destructive little worm,
please don’t give it space!

Lady Satellite

Here's to pest control! May you never have termites in your rafters!!

28: Always There

Where am I?
It matters naught.
I am within
I am the source.
Look to yourself
or look to me
for we are one and all.

You walk
you carry
you stumble and fall.
I lift
I carry
your load is small.

You lead
I’ll follow
two steps behind.
Your lost
I’ll guide
just follow the signs.

There’s never a time
when you’re truly alone.
I step back
if you ask.
When you call me
I come.

A friend for life
for all that is.
I know your thoughts
I know your wishes.

Lay down your burdens
let me carry them for you.
Sit upon my shoulders
when the waters rise.
I’ll give you life
with my sacrifice.

Now run, be free and happy,
dance and sing.
For you my precious children
I have created earth,
this paradise of blue and green
this sacred place that nurtures.

Lady Satellite

27: Can't Bring Me Down

Sometimes life throws me lemons
and I wonder what to do;
but you can’t bring me down,
I’m always gonna win through.

Got a letter from the government,
that says they overpaid
and now they want it back again.
I really was dismayed.

Sometimes life throws me lemons
and I wonder what to do;
but you can’t bring me down,
I’m always gonna win through.

My girl’s car got damaged,
by a driver that didn’t stop.
The bumper’s bent and mangled
and now she’s out of pocket.

These things should make me angry,
but I don’t want that in my life.
I’m gonna smile and let it go.
I don’t need that kind of strife.

I sent out a call for coffee,
friends replied from across the globe.
Local Kerry came to the rescue.
You always give me hope.

Sometimes life throws me lemons
and I wonder what to do;
but you can’t bring me down,
with a friend I’m gonna win through.

Lady Satellite

Not just a poem today but a song with a variable chorus.

26: Live for the Weekend

Monday, the start of the week.
Finding it hard to let go of sleep.
Make the effort, drag yourself out
Get the kids ready, try not to shout.

Tuesday, the week’s a rollin’.
Planning the weekend, keeps me going.
What shall I do? Who shall I see?
Is there anything on? Who’s coming with me?

Wednesday, hope it’s pay,
Yes! Let’s celebrate! No! feels grey!
Look in the fridge, what’s for tea?
Try to think of something, that isn’t beans.

Thursday, the weekend’s coming,
I’m feeling happy and I’ve started humming.
My plans are in place. I made the calls.
Nearly there now. Hope the weather holds.

Friday dawns, I’ll be seeing you soon.
Get the work done. Why’s it still only noon!
The afternoon drags, but it’s okay,
Can’t bring me down, soon be on our way.

Saturday starts, lazily.
There’s no rush. Today I’m free.
Time with friends and lots of laughter.
Shared experience, to be treasured after.

Sunday I cling, to last night’s memory.
Comforting and warm, I cradle it carefully.
Don’t want to go home, where the housework waits.
There’s more to life, like time with mates!

Lady Satellite

25: Energy

Everything is energy that is all we are;
a magnetic field of vibrating consciousness.
As an idea, it’s quite bizarre!

Here I sit comfortably, relaxing in my chair.
I can see myself, I know I’m here;
but of more I am aware.

I am listening to music, reminiscent of the sea.
The melody flows, like shimmering waves
and the strings vibrate, along with me.

I feel this music resonate, in each and every cell.
I am vibrating, I can feel it.
My heart knows this feeling well.

For this is life, this oscillation;
just a pulse at quantum level.
Feeling is all there is. I am pure vibration.

Lady Satellite

24: Communication

Where would I be without my mobile phone?
God! I remember how hard I moaned;
when as a teenager, I was banned,
from using the landline, just like I’d planned;
to ring my boyfriend and chatter about nothing,
just the sound of his voice, so very exciting.
I couldn’t care less, that I blocked the line,
that the house was cut off, for hours at a time!

So now we text, in a silent frenzy.
With no fear of over-hearing, our words become brazen.
Secretly, we plan and scheme,
to steal time together, is our dream.
No one hears, so no one knows,
The world has evolved, that’s how it goes.
So many ways, to keep in touch,
Facebook, email, there is so much!

Can you imagine, two centuries ago,
slowly writing letters, with ink that flowed?
Sending them off, on a ship that might sink
and take your words to the bottom of the drink.
The agony of waiting for months at a time,
to learn if your love was dead or alive.
So glad I live in the 21^st century;
with my mobile phone and lots of technology!

Lady Satellite

23: A Taste of Summer

A day on the beach,
such a delight,
the warm spring sun,
banishing winter white.

Blue sky above,
a good friend beside,
my feet are in love,
with the sand and the tide.

First they dig
and then they bury,
the children swim
joyful and merry.

So good to see,
the imagination flow,
to play and be free,
to learn and to grow.

How lucky are we,
to live in this place?
Summer is coming.
Here is a taste!

Lady Satellite

22: The Source

Be open to hearing something new,
for it may come, when least expected.
It may creep upon you, or come in haste,
if you are listening, it will make sense.

You cannot miss this star-spangled opportunity,
for we will keep knocking, until you see.
We know your dreams, we know your wishes.
We’ll take you there, if you’ll let us.

Listen hard, look around, be aware,
there is synchronicity, enough to spare.
For you to meet your heart’s desire,
is what we orchestrate from higher.

If you dare to follow your heart,
we’ll guide you well and mark the path.
Don’t be afraid, we’ll walk with you,
ever present, real and true.

Your guiding light, is inside your core,
that precious source of love so pure.
It will not end, it does not cease,
your divine nature, your inner peace,
comes from within, not from a lover,
it does not depend on another.

You are enough, you are divine,
believe yourself, every time,
for we inspire that inner knowing,
the one that keeps your furnace glowing.

Lady Satellite

Whatever you believe in, you are always enough.

21: Leave Me Be!

Here I am, in my cocoon; yes, I know, it’s already noon!
With my blanket wrapped tight, I’m sure I look a fright,
but I’m warm and snug, underneath this rug.
I’m not coming out, there is no doubt,
the world won’t end, if I don’t attend.
So don’t bug me; I’m not going to bend!

For just one day, in my PJ’s I’ll stay.
I’ll not do my chores; of being adult, I’m bored.
I want to sleep all day and party all night,
be reckless and free; give my kids a fright!
Up yours responsibility! I’ve had enough.
Now leave me alone, I’m feeling rough.

I’ll crawl out when, I’ve nursed my pain
and normal service, will resume again.
Until then, don’t ask me.
I’ll just be rude. Can’t be bothered you see.
To be polite, is too much trouble.
I’m on strike, my head’s in a muddle.

I love you all, but it’s all too much.
I need a day off, being Mum and such.
So, fend for yourself, don’t kill each other,
feed the dog and of course your brother!
Know that I love you, I’m just feeling bad.
Try not to worry, it’s not all sad.
Stay home from school, make lots of mess,
watch TV all day, I couldn’t care less!
I can’t be bothered, so why should you?

Let’s start again tomorrow, when I don’t have flu!

Lady Satellite

Sometimes you just need to batten down the hatches and hide!

20: Catch the Thought

Hold the pencil,
wait for inspiration to materialise.
Hold the thought,
wait for its form to crystallise.

Clear your mind
and the words come like swirling mist,
tumbling, turning,
through my brain they twist.

Out of the ether,
the burgeoning idea unfolds,
onto the paper,
the finished poem, behold!

Lady Satellite

Sitting there wondering what to write about and a poem about writing a poem appears!!!

19 Thank You All

A true friend is a golden gift,
I have been lucky enough to receive.
I can’t thank you all enough,
for the darkness you have relieved.

Sometimes the smallest gesture,
made all the difference, between
giving up and keeping going,
when the way ahead was steep.

I owe a debt of gratitude,
to all those luminous souls,
who picked me up and kept me moving,
towards my distant goals.

So here I am, I have survived.

I am happy and at peace.
I love my life and all it brings.
I couldn’t have wished for better friends,
to travel this path with me.

Lady Satellite

Thank you to all those who have been part of my journey.

18: Housework Can Wait!

So many things I’d rather do,
than clean the kitchen floor!
I could dance, I could sing,
I could do many things;
but get that mop and swing
it back and forth and back again,
is not on my list of joyful things!

So many things I’d rather do,
than mow the bloody lawn!
I could swim, I could bathe,
in the sun I could laze;
but get that mower
and pick up the doggy-do’s,
is not on my list of things to amuse!

So many things I’d rather do,
than clean the flipping bath!
I could write, I could dream,
I might like to scream;
but to clean out the hair
the kids have left there,
is not on the list about which I care!

So many things I’d rather do,
than dig out bloomin’ weeds!
I could laugh, I could play,
might even run away;
but pulling out weeds
on my hands and knees,
I’ll give that a miss, I’d much rather read!

So many things I'd rather do,

on a beautiful summer’s day.
I could run, I could drive,
I might even fly,
but see you I must,
or else I’ll combust!
The housework can wait ‘til another day!

Lady Satellite

17: Circles

Oh the circles in my mind,
I go around and round again.
Should I do this or do that?
I need to find my inner Zen.

I’m so positive, normally
but then you take away my air.
I’m left breathless and confused,
wondering if I really dare.

I’m so happy, I’m so high.
I’m afraid, I’m going to fall.
Is this real or just a dream?
Are you really there at all?

Why does joy mess with my mind?
Why can’t I live in this moment?
Why do I need the future planned?
That way lies only discontent.

If I could just let go my worries,

the sky always would be blue.
Oh the circles in my mind,
I go around and round with you.

Lady Satellite

16: The Perils of Internet Dating (or What I Have Learnt!)

Just because a man gives you flowers,
doesn’t mean you’re going to swoon.
It’s really not that stylish,
wrapped in a yoghurt pot
and the swarm of ants released at home,
was an experience I’d rather not..!

Just because they post a good photo,
doesn’t mean they’ll be well groomed.
Those ugly stains on his shirt,
I really can’t admire.
Pay attention to your grooming sir,
if you want me to desire!

Just because he tells you things,
your ears long to hear,
don’t forget that he may lie.
Check him out before you date.
It’s not stalking to do your homework.
Look him up, before it’s too late!

Just because one man walks away,
when he discovers you like science,
don’t run and hide those books you love,
the ones on quantum physics.
Be proud of who you are,
‘til you meet the man who gets this!

Just because the first is dull
and the second older than his photo,
doesn’t mean you should give up,
wait and see what’s ‘round the corner.
Number three, might be your dream,
just what the doctor ordered!

Lady Satellite

Have fun out there, stay safe!

15: Happy to Be

I watched the surf roll in with you,
the blue sky all around.
We laughed and chatted all breakfast through,
oblivious to the soothing sound.

A perfect way to start the day,
breakfast with a stunning view.
Nature’s splendour all around,
the sun, the surf, me and you.

We exist for a while in this timeless place,
happy to be, needing nothing more.
I’ll hold the memory of your handsome face
in this moment, beside the shore.
Don’t think ahead in time and space,
in this moment I need nothing more.

Lady Satellite

Tomorrow never comes, so make sure you live now!

14: Answering the Call

I hear the quiver, in your voice,
as soon as I pick up your call.
The one that says, ‘Mum I’m scared!’
Not feeling brave at all.

My heart catches, when I hear you,
as fear jolts through my chest.
'Where are you?' 'What has happened?'
Tell me quick, for I cannot rest.

Images pile up in my mind,
unbidden they keep coming.
I steer you, to tell your tale
and release my cloud of worry.

You had a crash, my fears explode,
in hot rivulets of pain.
Haltingly the details emerge,
adrenaline subsides again.

The road was greasy, in the rain,
you spun and hit the poles!
No, you’re not hurt! The cars ok!
There was no one else involved!

Thank God for the angel, that stopped the traffic
and helped you on your way.
Let’s get you home, none of it matters,
It can be fixed another day.

Lady Satellite

You never know when you pick up the phone, what news you will hear; but somehow a mother always knows immediately when they are needed. 

13: Vulnerable

Love me, soothe me.
Take away my fears.
Move me, soothe me.
Kiss away my tears.

Hold me, soothe me.
Walk along the sand.
Hold me tight.
Steady my hand.
I am vulnerable tonight.

Guide me, soothe me.
Melt away my nerves.
Hold my gaze.
Greet my soul.
Let me see who you are at last.

Lady Satellite

12: Finding Time

Rushing here, rushing there,
how many thing can I fit in one day?
The lawn wants mowing.
The weeds keep growing.
Mustn’t forget to cover that grey!

Driving here, driving there,
off to work then pick up at school.
Fit in the shopping.
Don’t think ‘bout stopping.
Remember the speed limit, follow the rule!

Looking here, looking there,
find that sock, locate that shoe.
Have a good look.
Neglect that book.
Haven’t I got enough things to do?

Remember this, remember that,
feed the dog, pick up a child.
Take your pills.
Pay those bills.
Don’t forget to have your hair styled!

Enjoy this, enjoy that,
your time with them is only borrowed.
Love every day,
they’re in your way.
They will move out, one sunny tomorrow!

Lady Satellite

Life doesn't get better until you learn to enjoy what's happening now, even if that is chaos!

11: Where do Your Emotions Lie?

Is your heart the central port?
It quickens when lustful thoughts arise
and jolts when shocked by death or fear.
So is your heart the central port?

Is your stomach the vital source?
It houses butterflies when nerves are high
and flips when bad news, comes calling by.
So is your stomach the vital source?

Is your head the essential place?
It aches when pressured by cares and worries
and fills with a rosy haze when you fall in love.
So is your head the essential place?

Is your skin the sacred store?
It tingles with sweet anticipation
and crawls when revulsion touches.
So is your skin the sacred store?

Every cell of your being,
pulses with life itself.
Your body knows more than you.
So beware my dear friends,
learn this lesson well.
You are, your emotions,
they do not, within you dwell.
You cannot block them out,
though you may try to fool yourself.
Embrace them, bid them welcome;
hear what they have come to tell.

Lady Satellite

10: The Curse of Being Literal

Sometimes I have to smile, before it makes me cry.
Sometimes I might laugh and people wonder why.
The agony of watching you struggle, feels more than I can bear.
I know this world seems strange and harsh with people that don’t care.
If they could see from your side, how strange reality is;
maybe they would understand, why you’re often in a tizz.

Imagine if you can, a world where everything is wrong;
where right means left and yes means no.
You can’t understand, no matter how hard you try.
It just doesn’t make sense, people trick you and lie.

The bus is leaving, you’re on board,
Mum’s outside, they’ve shut the door.
She acts the fool and plays her half,
Jumping at the window while the other kids laugh.

To you this is real, not funny at all.
Your Mum’s in danger and being ridiculed.
This isn’t funny, this isn’t cool,
your confusion rises, your anxiety overloads,
you scream at the kids, as you think the bus goes.
This isn’t real, it’s just a silly joke,
but in your literal world, you simply cannot cope.

My son isn’t naughty or badly brought up.
He isn’t crazy or stupid, don’t be quick to judge.
If you say what you mean and do what you say;
things will go well and be easy today.

I’m at fault here. I admit it. Do you?
I say just a minute and it takes twenty-two.
With language like that, what can he do?
How can he learn time when it never stays true?

‘YES, I do mind’ means ‘NO, you cannot!’
When you try to explain, he can’t take it in;
his head is pounding with a hammering din.
‘You lied! You lied!’ he yells from his hiding space;
with hot tears of frustration, running down his face.
The world for him is such a confusing place.

‘Stand in a line by the door!’ means police that fact;
block the exit and go crazy with those that want more.
In your head there’s a line, or if not there’s war!

What can I do? How can I help?
How can I make things better, or heal your hurt?
Love is all I have, to offer you and as much patience as I can muster.
Together we will get through, until we can find an answer.

Lady Satellite

I share this to raise awareness of how challenging this world can be for someone on the autism spectrum. I hope that it will help those not on the spectrum to understand what to an outsider can look crazy!

9: Leschenault Cubs

Leschenaults’ laughing loopy larrikins,
Entertaining educational ebullient enigmas,
Stunningly special silly squad,

Curious crazy creative crowd,
Happy helpful hilarious handfuls,

Energetic endearing explosive eaters,

Normally nurturing, non-nuclear numbats,
Amazing awesome adaptable animals,
Unmissable unstoppable uproarious and unique,
Loudly learning lovable lolly-munchers,

Trusty tolerant terrific tackers!

Cantankerous crafty cubilicious children,
Unforgettable uniformed useful youths,
Bubbly brave bold breed,
Splendid sticky spectacular species!

Lady Satellite

8: Cubilee

Pack the cubs on the bus,
off to Cubilee.
Oh heck! Not gonna stop,
hope no one needs a pee!

Thirteen happy cubs singing,
enthusiastic and very loud.
Should have brought my ear plugs,
to block out the sound!

Twelve cubs get off the bus,
running wild and free.
Need eyes in the back of your head,
Lord have mercy on me!

Eleven cubs on a climbing wall,
is that one upside down?!?
'How did that happen?'
I wonder with a frown!

Ten cubs at the stocks,
throwing wet sponges with glee.
Everybody getting wet,
look out Baffy!

Nine cubs on the rope bridge,
scampering like monkeys.
Hold on tight, don’t want a fright,
no broken bones please!

Eight cubs lying in the shade,
half asleep and unaware.
Watch out Ferao’s been shopping,
a water gun, beware!

Seven cubs racing cars,
very fast downhill.
Akela what has happened?
Your car is standing still?

Six cubs riding camels,
Ladybird in the lead;
but the animal won’t budge,
keeps bending down to feed!

Five cubs telling jokes,
and doing funny skits;
laughing long and hard,
‘Scouts Own’ they call this.

Four cubs now are camping,
at Byford for the night.
Will we get any sleep?
Maybe not until it’s light!

Three cubs having breakfast,
it’s amazing what they eat!
Packing up comes next,
an extraordinary feat!

Two cubs on parade,
closing ceremony, time to leave.
Have you earnt another badge,
to sew upon your sleeve?

One cub on a bus,
did we wear him out at last?
Quietly going to sleep,
he’s really had a blast.

Back at base, parents waiting,
this years’ fun is over.
Did we leave anyone behind?
Take a look over your shoulder!

Lady Satellite

This weekends' poems come with my gratitude to the leaders; Akela, Baffy, Ferao and Ladybird for an awesome weekend and also to our amazing cubs; Aaron, Casey, Finlay, Hudson, Isabel, Jenaya, Jessica, John, Liam, Michael, Peter, Ryan and Thane.