130: Tough Love

I want you to go
But I want you to stay
How contrary am I
On this subject today?

I can’t make up my mind
I dither about
Looking at pros and cons
I wear myself out.

Sometimes I need you
It helps when you’re here
But then I can’t trust you
And that generates fear.

It’s no good me wishing
You were someone you’re not
You are who you are
The daughter I got.

I love you, I love you
But that’s not enough
You’ve pushed me too far
And now this is tough.

I’m not being heartless
I’m not being cruel
I want you to learn
And I’m nobody’s fool.

If you want that life
You can’t have it here
It saddens me to say it
And I’ll shed a few tears

But you have to leave
Hope you find somewhere near
The decision is final
The decision is clear.

Take responsibility for yourself
It’s an important step
I know you can do it
It just hasn’t happened yet.

Go out into the real world
Live, love and learn
Come back wiser
And my respect you will earn.

Lady Satellite

97: Responsibility

Look at him happily swimming
In this paradise pool
Too scared to ride an elephant
Or take a quad bike tour
Not interested in snorkelling
Or going to see the turtles.
All he wants is a simple life
Low on stress and high on love
Keep him well fed and entertained
He’ll reward you with smiling eyes.

Take him out on the streets
And it changes in an instant
His senses are assaulted
By noise, danger and the unknown
Everywhere he turns, rules are broken
And chaos overwhelms.
In this crisis state, he cannot function
Walking to the restaurant is challenge enough
His body language screams
Warning! Warning! Beware! Do not engage!

The message is clear.
Don’t touch me, don’t even look at me
Don’t speak to me or think to question.
Worst of all don’t laugh at me
Or issue reprimands
I am barely in control
I am struggling to stay calm
There is nowhere for me to flee
There is nowhere safe to shelter.

I witness the fireworks as you struggle
As those around react, I feel your pain
To these people I cannot explain
If I do, it adds to your sense of shame.
I question my decision to come
Over and over again
But if you never face
The world and all things new
You’ll never learn to cope
And I will have failed you.

Lady Satellite

95: A Facebook Life Isn't Real

It’s not all hearts and flowers

Despite what Facebook says.
It’s been stressful for hours and hours
I’ll be glad to fall into bed.
It’s such a lonely journey
When those closest don’t understand.
Happy Birthday darling, this hurts so much
Careful the door doesn’t slam.

A picture paints a thousand words
Well-chosen and carefully edited.
We share with the world what our life should be
The truth is hidden from view.
Smile for the camera, put that on Facebook
Turn the corner and belligerence reigns.
Who are these people, with the perfect life?
They look like us but not quite
There’s definitely been a mistake.

Just like Bali, the island paradise
Covered in rubbish and filth
My beautiful family lives under a troublesome layer
Of bad attitude and fighting.
I’m tired of being the peacemaker
It’s exhausting and lonely on my own
The responsibility feels too much.
Is it wrong to want to go home?

Lady Satellite

21: Leave Me Be!

Here I am, in my cocoon; yes, I know, it’s already noon!
With my blanket wrapped tight, I’m sure I look a fright,
but I’m warm and snug, underneath this rug.
I’m not coming out, there is no doubt,
the world won’t end, if I don’t attend.
So don’t bug me; I’m not going to bend!

For just one day, in my PJ’s I’ll stay.
I’ll not do my chores; of being adult, I’m bored.
I want to sleep all day and party all night,
be reckless and free; give my kids a fright!
Up yours responsibility! I’ve had enough.
Now leave me alone, I’m feeling rough.

I’ll crawl out when, I’ve nursed my pain
and normal service, will resume again.
Until then, don’t ask me.
I’ll just be rude. Can’t be bothered you see.
To be polite, is too much trouble.
I’m on strike, my head’s in a muddle.

I love you all, but it’s all too much.
I need a day off, being Mum and such.
So, fend for yourself, don’t kill each other,
feed the dog and of course your brother!
Know that I love you, I’m just feeling bad.
Try not to worry, it’s not all sad.
Stay home from school, make lots of mess,
watch TV all day, I couldn’t care less!
I can’t be bothered, so why should you?

Let’s start again tomorrow, when I don’t have flu!

Lady Satellite

Sometimes you just need to batten down the hatches and hide!