225: Letter to a Poet

I love it when time is taken to shape words into thoughts

I hope the writer finds it therapeutic, as I do of course
the rhythm and the rhymes
become the focus of my mind
as I play with the words
the thoughts appear quite unobserved.

Truth sneaks out when not held back
when the constant conscious effort to restrain goes slack
as I push all my energy into beautiful word connections
raw emotion does not suffer its usual untimely rejection
and so it seeks freedom of expression and reaches for the light
bubbling freely with abandon a true reflection of what is real and what is right.

What cannot easily be aired when head is pounding and eyes are red
will surface effortlessly when the barriers are unmanned
and the words can frolic around without some grand restrictive plan
the mind plays tricks and clouds the simplistic brain
seeking to forget and smother all the pain
the truth is fettered along with love and all reality
I need these escaping words to say painful things and give me sanity.

My mission, let’s be clear
is love and never fear
to open the door and watch the monsters run
to feel relief as their terrorising shadows melt and die in the sun
then I know my fears were some insubstantial vapour
never to be given the power of the hand held upper.

Thoughts can be a deceitful slippery slope
one covered in black ice, where you really need a rope
not to hang yourself high and hasten death
but of love to haul you higher so you fly gracefully with each breath
come let us soar like those wedge tail eagles paired for life
trusting in a wind they cannot see
but whose existence gives them flight.

Lady Satellite

224: The Itch

Oh the desperate urge to scratch

as my traitorous hand creeps slowly towards my back
I watch it move with military stealth
as I am enveloped by the pestilent pull of my oh so itchy shell.

But it cannot be
it must not be allowed
the resistance will win this war
no matter how wildly this torture makes me shout.

No! That skin is sacred
were it any other I wouldn’t care
and would claw my flesh for pleasure
risking red welts and scratches there.

But no! That spot is anointed
I will not give in for short term bliss
that is hallowed ground
where my story is displayed
and I will not compromise it for an itch.

That art is the start of my journey
a visual expression of my whole
and I will not scratch
where the needle stitched the ink permanently into my soul.

Lady Satellite

223: Pleasure Seekers

Aquamarine and turquoise blue

glittering sunlight, invites me and you
two sleek black bodies
slide into warm wetness
gliding beneath, seeking coral gardens at depth.

Show these lovers your treasures
as they glide through your world
enraptured with the pleasures
of colourful life at every turn.

As nature frolics, so they shall observe
careful to witness, never disturb
then as they rise and smile at the sun
they laugh and play chase, like seals having fun
they spin and embrace, those two that are one.

Lady Satellite

221: Mistress Pain

Integrate or disintegrate

that’s what I have to do.
Shine the love on the fear
and melt it away,
can’t live with black ice, my dear.

I understand, I feel your pain
but do I want to face it again?
As adrenalin surges
the blood rush urges
‘Get out! Run away! It’s not safe!’

Is loving enough?
When times get rough
as you fight your inner demons
will you change?
First show me a little
then with safety comes more
as you seek the familiarity of pain.

Will I leave through that door
pushed unwillingly by your core
but what if my love is stronger?
Will you jump into her arms
be embraced by her charms
will Mistress Pain take you in the long run?

Lady Satellite

221: Halloween

221: Halloween

Missing you now
when the night is darkest
though the orange lights twinkle
and the costumes sparkle.

Conversation flows
and the games begin
but nothing soothes the ache
of empty within.

Being alone is somehow
gentler on the soul
than being at a party
when your heart isn’t whole.

Nothing bears comparison
to the joy we create
when we chatter and laugh
or challenge and debate.

Despite the costumes and the gaiety
this whole throng is dull.
Twittering about nothing of consequence
is all very well
but without the light in your eyes
and the pull of your heart
I haven’t the tolerance for foolishness
or to practice this art.

The alcoholic hit of a cocktail
won’t convince me this is fun.
What use is jellied vodka
will it fight the urge to run?
Why let the spirits fuel my pain
and trap me into staying?
Don’t want to dance drunkenly with another,
only your arms should feel me swaying.

To linger is foolish torture
simply, no need to endure.
Not enriched by fake enjoyment
without mon bel amour.
Ceding defeat I head for home
as inebriation sets in all around,
a strategic retreat to cover emotion
before hot tears betray me on the ground.

Lady Satellite

220: Experiment Earth

Contradictions too vast to contemplate,
here, but not
gone, but here
an end with a beginning, yet ended with permanency
everything the same and yet all changed
life continues, yet simultaneously stops.

What life?

Why is the world turning even now
and grass standing tall where manicured lawn should be?

How can life go on, when life has stopped?

Insignificant!
We are as pollen grains stuck to the hind legs of a bee
carried by vast forces beyond our understanding
vital parts of ecosystem Gaia
individually insignificant
yet potent as a mass.

You are gone and nothing has changed
it is as if, you never were.

These cherished objects, carried lovingly south
will mean nothing when I too depart.

Our tenure here exposed as a hologram
a play from which you exited stage left.

We do not have life
just mechanical functions within a complex machine
demonstrating potentials
power switched on/off at will
gene pool Earth
an experiment in genetics and human nature.

I wonder how we compare to Kepler-452b?

Are we performing well?

What did my Mother’s life
contribute to the collective knowledge?

Me, I suppose.

Will she be recycled, upcycled, reused?

Am I the upcycling?

How will the experiment end?

Questions too vast to contemplate,
I am here, but not
life unreal without you.

Lady Satellite

219: Loss

Vigorous yet fragile we are naught but energy.
No longer bound to this place, freedom restored you took your leave.
Now fly, run, dance, do all the things you could never do.
We who are left behind, though grieving, happy for you.

Lady Satellite

218: Time To Go

Blankets brutally ripped away
expose warm flesh to winter’s frigid breath.
Lustfulness is thwarted by practicality.
Love isn’t always kind.

Dressing hurriedly, attention turns to unruly raven locks.
My brush harshly begins its labour
only to be stolen by the protesting blanket thief.
Tenderness returns, seated before the memory of last night’s fire
as he expertly burnishes my hair.

Love is redeemed
but these affectionate movements have me caught up once again.
Practicality ebbs away as a fresh surge of desire
threatens my timely departure.
First push, then pull, love plays
dangerously close to the edge of reason
as I allow myself to be gently pushed towards the door.

Lady Satellite

217: No Words

I can make a poem out of anything
but when your arms surround me
my heart begins to sing
and though my inner senses riot
my external voice goes still and quiet
I find myself without means to speak
with my emotions surging towards their peak
and though my very being shouts
still no words are made aloud
there are no words to describe this feeling
there is no need when heaven is revealing.

Lady Satellite

216: Proletariat

Members of the proletariat…
Is that you? Are you that?
Do you know this word?
Is the meaning obscure?
Do you know? Are you sure?

Prone to misspelling
difficult to say perhaps
people let me help you out
let me tell you what it’s all about.

It describes the workers you can see
humble folk, just like you and me
the labouring classes
the long suffering masses.

Did you know? Were you right?
Is your vocab muscle, dormant or on strike?
Through education each can rise
and change the system so despised.
So people, take the time to learn new words
if you want those unhappy voices heard.

Lady Satellite

215: Vocab Stretch

Dragon rise, elegantly fly
soar across the leaden sky
show us all your fearsome beauty
ornery creature, capricious fire-breather
we bring you offerings and do our duty
do not atomize our city
spare us, we pray
have mercy, show pity
we come in silence
no garrulous chatter
name your price
it is no matter
let our crops stand
let our children play
we will feed you cows,
how many do you want today?

Lady Satellite

This was a response to a writing exercise. The challenge was to write a poem quickly using the following words: atomize, capricious, dragon, garrulous, ornery.

214: Maintenance Day

Maintenance days, we all need them
don’t be tempted, just to leave them.

Visit the doc, get that mole checked out
you already know what that’s about.

Whether it’s a haircut, shave or colour
do it yourself or spend the dollars.

Taking the time, says you are worthwhile
it makes you happy, it makes you smile.

Look after yourself and don’t neglect
to find the time and feel the effect.

Lady Satellite

213: A Feminist's Dilemma

To shave or not to shave, that is the question.
Whether ‘tis nobler to maintain the principle
of warmth in winter and let hair freely grow
or whether in pursuit of some ideal of perfection
I should shave my limbs smooth because society approves
and render my body colder with every hair that I remove.

My body image is just fine
wearing jeans and stockings in winter time
the decision not to shave was quite easy
until along came a man who upset my logical plan
and made my feminist principles uneasy.

Thoughts of being seen in your underwear
make you think hard about whether you care.
Do you feel sexy as nature intended?
Do you really care if your man is offended?
Shouldn’t he love me just as I am?
Is my self-confidence really just a sham?

It’s hard to be sure about my reasons anymore
the only thing I know, is that hair has got to go
but am I really doing it, for him or for me?
To hell with feminist principle, I like smooth and sexy!

Lady Satellite

212: Time

Time by design
a fickle master
one hour slow
the next much faster
no clock can control
the pace of each minute
my mind has no timekeeper
lodged within it.

Do emotions control time
as time controls me?
Do sad days linger
and happy days flee?
Does reality die
in the eyes of perception
while time flies by
in the arms of affection?

Sometimes, maybe

but then again no
I remember those moments
in the afterglow
when time stood still
and my soul expanded
entwined with yours,
time was enchanted.

Lady Satellite

211: Fear No More

This child fears death

but this woman has no regrets;
this child outgrew her fears
she has lived beyond the tears.

This child fears joy
but this woman is no longer coy;
this child has learnt to feel
as time has turned its wheel.

This child fears shadows
but this woman’s energy glows;
this child has found her torch
she treads at night without a thought.

This child fears living
but this woman embraces everything;
this child has learnt to trust
who she is, is more than enough.

This child fears love
but this woman’s heart has filled up;
this child has been healed
and now the woman is revealed.

Lady Satellite

210: No Regrets

Rejoice that our meandering paths have finally crossed
Revere the mystery of chance versus design
Revel in the perfect balance of our connection
Relish the future we will experience together
Respect time for shaping us this way
Nothing in life is a waste of time
It has made me yours, and made you mine
Regret nothing or you will undo what was created.

Lady Satellite

209: Duelling Poets

You flatter me sir
they are words, nothing more
I play I have fun
perhaps look for a pun.

Tis a pleasure to be
with those who are free
to explore the elegance and grace
of words put in place
with care and with thought
the way they truly ought.

En garde! We will dance 

with the words of romance
Present arms, then lunge
I parry, you plunge
without threat, demonstrate skill
sharpening minds, a test of will.

Lady Satellite

208: Bottle This

One hand on the dashboard
banging out the beat
five fingers on the steering wheel
tapping down the street.

Lungs at full capacity
volume maxed out singing
high energy electronic dance music
has got my brainwaves zinging.

My body propelled by music
is bouncing on the spot
celebrating happiness
by giving all I’ve got.

You might think I’m crazy
partying on my own
but if you knew this feeling
there’d be no cause to moan.

Everything right in my world today
emotions I’d love to bottle
happiness spilling over
just like winning lotto.

If I could find a way to capture this
I’d take a draft each morning
the perfect winter antidote
to a cold start when I’m yawning.

Lady Satellite

207: Reality Check

Actions speak louder
than those three little words
though women’s hearts’ melt
when first they are heard.

In our youth we believe
the words people say
maturity brings wisdom
to notice each day.

Little things people do
demonstrate as fact
the way that they feel
in the way that they act.

Lady Satellite

206: Trust

I have sought
but have not found
a reason to retreat
to higher ground.

I fear the delusion
of wishful thinking
and question my motives
for enjoying and believing.

How do I trust

that four letter word
after a life of pain
have I found the reverse?

I question this vine
that binds us together
are you strong enough
to withstand all weather?

Then day by day
I see bright new shoots
and feel the earth move
as it puts out more roots.

Blossoms adorn it
soon the flowers will set
a beautiful crop
of the sweetest fruit yet.

Lady Satellite

205: Relief

Inner space
safety’s place
no hard edges or demands
A treat to be
relaxed and free
the inner life brings grace.

Outer space
my life a race
cuts and bruises scar
always a chore
still hundreds more
step off the track, change pace.

Lady Satellite

204: Flat

Flat. Have you been there?
It’s a place within us all
where the heart monitor doesn’t blip
and the blood pressure only falls.

The sun never reaches there
so the dawn never beckons
just an endless night of nothing
while the undertaker reckons.

I cannot say it’s painful
because to feel would bring relief
everything anaesthetised
suspended all belief.

Catatonia has taken over
autopilot at the helm
my soul has shut-up-shop.
Do you know this feeling well?

I am not dead, nor am I dying
those require too much effort
I am alive, but not trying
gripped by lethargy and depression.

Lady Satellite

203: Room for Rent

You haven’t stolen my heart
I chose to let you enter
despite the dodgy start
I think you’ll be a good renter.

You’re intelligent and smart
so I don’t think I’ll get bored
just remember I don’t like drunks
and don’t get too self-assured.

I love that you’re fit and healthy
please don’t turn into a slob
I love that you’re gainfully employed
so please don’t lose your job.

I don’t mind if your hair goes white
although I’d prefer if it stays on your head
and it doesn’t matter if you’re tall
because we all dance horizontal in bed.

You’ve earnt your place in my heart
I am happy to have you dwelling there
you are respectful of the privilege
and I know you’ll always take care.

Just remember that room in my heart

is only rented, you don’t own me
bad tenants will be evicted
that’s the rule in the love economy.

Lady Satellite

202: Echoes

Echoes call me,
in whispers they fall
around my ears and land at my feet,
their business is complete,
they have no rights
there is no repeat.

Shoo! Go away!
You will not disturb me.
Stop invading my head.
You are the past.
You are dead.
Leave me be.
Stop shaking my bed.

Like the potential
for a thief in the night
the callous cry of a scaremonger
will not cast a blight,
there is no entry here
for the exhaust fumes
of my life.

Lady Satellite

201: Conversation with the Wind

Wind on my face
I greet you;
hair lashing my cheeks
I thrill to be alive
and feel your movement
unfettered, free
as am I.

Today, we are kindred spirits
playful, mischievous
full of life and fun.
Today, I want to dance
in your eddies
turn quickly and then run
to the fence
where the leaves are caught
and I will brace myself
against the rail
while you assail me
and make my clothes snap taught.

In the sunshine I adore you
as you hold me, in this place;
come the night a different story
as you terrorise my mind with sound.

I am fickle just like you.
Fear and darkness
go hand in hand,
kindred spirits no more
as you stalk this night time land.

Lady Satellite

200: A Vampire's Kiss

You touched my neck so tenderly
I was convinced of your kiss.

Now I cannot see you, yet you are still right here.
How can it be, that you feel so very near?

Miles of separation, have not affected the feeling in my heart
the one which you injected, with such a secret art.

What sorcery, what drug is this,
that flooded my brain and came from your kiss?

I fear I know, just what this is, for I am truly smitten,
thou art in truth, a vampire and I have just been bitten.

Lady Satellite

199: Time for Reflection

Heart strings held taught
feel the tug of your anxiety.
Sensations magnified
in the still of waiting.
Miles are meaningless,
anguish nips the air
and jangles my nerves
unexpectedly.

There is much to consider

Death the philosopher approaches
his lesson is procrastination’s antidote.
As responsibility passes
to another generation,
He urges you to live.

Lady Satellite

198: Choose Your Knickers Wisely!

What knickers to wear
for a cycling extravaganza
is an important decision to make.
Too long in the saddle
with the wrong sort of apparel
will leave you lying prostrate;
with your legs open wide
and a fan set on high
and an ice pack ready just in case!

No you daren’t make a mistake

with the undies you take
when perching on that saddle so narrow;
one slip and you’re done for
no sex for a week or more,
so have a care and choose wisely
for goodness sake!

Lady Satellite

197: Freedom Bonds

Let me be me

let you be you
unto ourselves
let us both be true.

Minds free to alter
expand and grow
let change be constant
as the universe knows.

Bind me with delight
let me flex and grow
push me a little
leave enough room for ‘No’.

Always a choice
never a duty
these bonds of freedom
craft a thing of beauty.

Lady Satellite

196: Shadows

Dark shadows persistently pushing by

yet clear blue remains the colour of the sky.

Inner world not matching outer today;
remnant emotions, keep getting in the way.

Like enemy targets on a video display

just want to take a gun and blast them all away.

Lady Satellite

195: Submit

Stop your rabid struggling
thrashing around is futile
churning the atmosphere
won’t allow the sun to smile.

Only a wraith can gain purchase
on clouds and drifting smoke
though fraught, you are human
and there will always be hope.

So allow yourself to sink
into the violence of the storm
have no fear of being overwhelmed
there is a path, been trod before.

Feel the wind of your emotions

and your layers being torn
reaching calm at the centre
be naked and reborn.

Lady Satellite

194: Wash Away the Storm

Red light fading
inside my eyes,
anger dissipating
a hopeful sign.

Painfully expressed
energy gone now,
angry screams released
radio masked sound.

Tears towel caught

washed away by machine,
eyes rimmed red
need not be seen,
eruption over,
shower off like it’s never been.

Lady Satellite

193: Just Breathe

Breathe
slow down
stop.
Beware the shuddering gasps
of sustained busyness.

Pause
settle
permit yourself to be soothed.
Surrender your problem solving
and follow your breath
slowly
slowly
pieces of puzzle
slide into place.

The picture appears
perfectly formed
sense bred from senselessness
solutions found
false starts abandoned
plans formulated
power to push onwards found
summoned by the breath.

Lady Satellite

192: It was Fucking Blue!

That dress, the one we bickered over constantly;
symbolic of all that was unnameable in our lives,
both of us suffering unspeakably,
both powerless to change anything that really mattered
or hug each other in fellowship against a common adversary.

And so we argued,
“It’s green.”
“No, it’s blue.”
“It’s mint green.”
“No, it’s duck egg blue.”
while quiet rage consumed me.

Both of us needing to be right,
to have control of our lives in some small way;
as if all these crumbs of power could possibly outweigh
the oppressive bulk of that unspoken other.

I lost the battle for supremacy
the day I took the Ishihara Test.
It was fucking blue!
Even my eyes were lying to me
Then I discovered nothing in my childhood was green;
not that dress, nor the patchwork fields of my fairy tale existence;
nothing was the healing colour of green.

Lady Satellite

191: Addiction

Love charges around my circuitry making connections like never before.
Endorphins have me skipping from crest to crest as if these great ocean waves were solid.

All fear gone, I dance with abandon, joyfully expressing my soul.
Dipping down into the trough I throw handfuls of blackened water to the sky and laugh as droplets shimmer when exposed to light.

Withholding nothing, I revel in the freedom of feeling all.

Diving into the water feeds my hunger to know myself through new experiences.
Pushing down I reach the quiet depths where a broken vessel teaming with life and colour is a wreck no more; claimed by the ocean, re-purposed and made beautiful again.

Lady Satellite

190: My Soul Knew

Written from my heart
you languished in darkness
put away for safe keeping
where you became invisible.

The tangible sweetness
of rediscovery takes me back
and connects me to my past.

My hands tremble
holding the poetry of my soul
recognition that I existed then
as I am now is a revelation.

I delight in finding myself
alive in my past
I was there, but I too languished
invisible in darkness.

Only rarely did my soul sing
loudly enough to be heard in this world
from that distant place
where I put myself away for safe keeping.

Lady Satellite

189: Full Circle

“Make me feel good.”
Said the girl

“Stay in and hold me.
Don’t go out tonight
I’m scared.”

“I can’t.”
Said the mother

“Because I don’t understand
And you can’t tell me why;
Because you don’t have the words
And I don’t want to hear them anyway.”

“Make me feel good.”
Said the teenager

“Tell me I’m pretty.
Take me to the cinema
Hold my hand.”

“I can’t.”
Said the boy

“Because you don’t smile
And until you do I won’t know that you’re pretty;
Because you don’t trust me
And I don’t know why.”

“Make me feel good.”
Said the young woman in her first job

“Notice how hard I am trying.
Reward me with praise
Trust and respect me.”

“I can’t.”
Said the boss

“Because you have victim written all over you
And I don’t respect you for that;
Because I don’t want you to be my equal
And your intelligence threatens me.”

“Make me feel good.”
Said the wife

“Hold me tight and tell me everything will be alright.
Make a fuss of me and show me you care.
Never ever frighten me.”

“I can’t.”
Said the husband

“Because my problems are bigger than yours
And I can’t see you there in my shadow;
Because I have to pretend all day long
And home is the only place I feel safe to let it all go
And that’s because I know you love me.”

“Make me feel good.”
Said the mother

“Take care of me and the children.
Notice what I achieve and not what is left undone
I want to be glad I chose you.”

“I can’t.”
Said the father

“Because I am afraid I am a failure
And I need you to be perfect to make me look good;
Because I make you feel scared like you did as a child
And you chose me because you knew this.”

Lady Satellite