7: Crazy

Such feelings I have found,
lying dormant underground;
quietly sleeping there,
‘til your spark, released the flare.

I don’t recognise myself,
I have no idea who you are;
this is madness itself,
the definition of bizarre.

I feel I’m going crazy,
on this roller coaster ride;
I’ll meet you one day, maybe,
when our distant worlds collide.

Is it really possible,
could it really be?
This thing seems improbable,
but is it fantasy?

Are you just imagination?
Are you really real?
There’s an open invitation,
my heart you could easily steal.

There is no guide or manual,
that tells me what this is;
I may just be a fool,
but I know this feeling’s bliss.

What will happen when we meet,
when we finally scratch the itch?
Will you sweep me off my feet?
Will we sing in perfect pitch?

So many questions I want answered,
so many things not yet said or done;
but I’ll take it hour by hour,
and just enjoy the fun.

This may be just a summer flower,
turning brightly to the sun;
or it could be divine magic,
and you could be the one.

Lady Satellite

Every relationship is a risk, no matter how you meet. I'll remember this one forever; no matter what the outcome!  

6: Hot Shopping!

I walk around the supermarket,
with a laughing smile.
I haven’t had this much fun,
in a long, long while.

People smile and wonder,
what’s affecting me.
I’m enraptured by your messages,
by the words that I can see.

As I walk along the aisles,
trying hard to concentrate,
on cereal and bacon,
you have me in a state!

I’m delirious with pleasure,
your messages delight.
I laugh until I cry.
This I cannot fight.

I wonder what they think,
those who pass by me.
I cannot keep a straight face,
let alone steer a trolley!

I really cannot care,
if I leave without the bread,
or I buy the wrong deodorant,
you’re messing with my head!

I can’t believe you’re working;
you surely can’t get much done.
My phone whistles constantly,
Oh my God this is fun!

My body is at the checkout now,
but my head is far away;
I have dreamed and I have dared,
for one amazing day.

So sad that this is over,
you leave me with an ache;
from laughing and from smiling,
my muscles need a break.

I’ll see you again soon,
in my dreams or on the net;
Best not meet at the grocery,
All my shopping I’ll forget!

Lady Satellite

Fun can happen anywhere. I hope this makes you smile as much as I did writing it.

5: Fifteen Minutes of Fame

What would you tell the world;
if you had your fifteen minutes?
If you could do some good;
what would you share within it?

If you had a chance to speak;
would you use it well?
Would your mind go blank?
Have you something wise to tell?

If I had my audience waiting;
I’d be ready and I’d be calm.
Yes, I have something to say;
and no, there would be no alarm.

Whether they would listen,
I really cannot say;
but there’s no harm in trying,
so let’s get under way.

I have one piece of advice,
I would love to share with all,
who live in hope and wander free,
hoping to meet Mr Right, eventually.

If it seems too good to be true,
they say it usually is;
so ask tough questions
like: What motive is truly his?

Think for yourself,
or you’ll come undone.
Don’t be told, why they’re doing it.
Please don’t be that dumb.

Don’t ignore the evidence,
that counters your rosy dream;
people aren’t, just as they seem,
their motives aren’t that clean.

Take a good hard look,
be that fly upon the wall.
Don’t believe just what he tells you;
please don’t be that silly fool!

If you can keep this in mind,
when your heart’s on fire.
You’ll do better than me,
when swamped with desire.

Words mean nothing,
only actions are true.
Ignore what they say;
look only at what they do.

Never mind they fête you now,
what they do to others,
gives a stronger indication,
of what the future covers.

How do they treat animals?
What do they say about their ex?
What kind of drunk are they?
What’s their attitude to sex?

What things make them mad?
Have you seen them in a rage?
Have they ever scared you?
Do they need centre stage?

Have they ever hurt someone?
Can they look you in the eye?
Are they ashamed of the past?
Do they seek to justify?

I don’t want to paint a picture
of a life, long and bleak,
but please look long and hard;
before into marriage you leap.

I would not steer you wrong,
I have no axe to grind,
but take responsibility,
do not let yourself be blind.

If you do not do this, 

you really cannot mind,
when your fairy-tale is shattered,
‘cause you didn’t read the signs.

Lady Satellite

For anyone who's been a fool. I'm sure I'm not alone!

4: Open Heart

My heart is open.
To what will be, I say ‘Welcome!’
No fear can enter these hallowed chambers,
for that will swiftly close the doors up tight.

I will live, not wither like blooms without light.

My heart is brave.
For what has been, I give thanks.
My wounds have taught me things no book can impart;
like how to survive turmoil and pain
and after it all you can live again.

My heart is joyful.
For what I have, I feel blessed.
You cannot take from me the joy of living.
Kindness always has the power to raise me up;
friendship shared with the ritual of a teacup.

My heart is hopeful.
For who I am, is worthy.
My soul shines and I display my colours proudly.
I dare to unfurl my wings and soar to far horizons.
My heart is willing, to risk it all again.

Lady Satellite

3: Rainbow Child

Rainbow child,
you’ve come a long way;
your life is precious,
so here please stay.

Don’t leave this realm,
because your journey is hard;
let your colours unfold,
let the world be told.

Don’t give up on yourself,
because you can’t see the end;
nail your colours to the mast,
show the world at last.

Don’t change who you are,
because the world won’t accept;
shine your colours without fear,
show the world you’re here.

Don’t dim your light,
because you stand alone;
make your colours glow,
and the world will follow.

Rainbow child,
you’ve come a long way;
your life is precious,
so here please stay.

Lady Satellite

The diversity of humanity is a wonderful thing we should be celebrating and not be scared of. This is for my rainbow child and every other person of diverse sexuality or gender. Rainbow's are a precious gift to the world; they light up our life. Please keep shining.

2: Dear Heart

Dear Heart

Forgive me for the stress and strain I have put you under;
I see now the error of my ways.
But my mind could not cope with the conflict in my head.

“It can’t be true!” “It must be me!”
The world is on its head.
“You lie!” “You lie!” It screamed at me and round and round it went.

The only way I could survive, was to put a wall around you,
my precious heart and fortify it well.
Over the top you glimpsed the world and thought you knew it fully;
but you were protected from the blast waves of love and pain;
so that I knew I could at least rely on you.

I built another barricade, in my mind you know.
An impenetrable thicket of lies and make believe;
with thorny spines to keep unwanted questions at bay.
And so we lived, you and I, my heart and mind and me;
not whole, not fully experiencing, but believing we were free.

Then the intruders came, in the middle of my darkest year.
“Why?” “Who?” “Where?” “What?” “Why?” and “Why?” again.
Those questions couldn’t be answered, with half a mind and heart.

As I grappled to gain purchase, on the rubble of my life;
with aching heart and thundering head, I tore down what I had made.
With each thorn that ripped my flesh, I didn’t shy away from the pain.
I held my ground and felt the truth and knew that I was free.

The triggers are disconnected now; my circuitry is working fully.
Released from your bondage, you, dear heart,
swell and contract with the thrill of living.

My mind is content to know itself now,
in all its light and shade.
Dear heart, you will not be controlled again.
I have forgiven myself for what was done.

Love Me

Lady Satellite

My heart goes out to anyone trying to come to terms with their past. If this is you, please be compassionate with yourself. What's done is done. It never goes away; but it isn't the pain of feeling the hurt that damages us; rather it is the pain of not acknowledging or allowing ourselves to feel. Feeling pain doesn't kill us but suppressing pain will eventually.

1: Going With His Flow

No more fighting against the flow.

My son is here to teach me.
While I fought and struggled for what should be,
I missed the point which now is plain.

Forget my dreams, for they are mine,
his life is his and I have no right to shame,
for he has gained a mother who at last understands,
he is who he is and I am his guiding hand.

In a world that overloads his senses,
my love is the warm comfort,
of the blanket he hides under in distress,
and I will not pull him from it,
because of what should be.
I love you now, as you are,
not, as who I thought you would be.

I can’t answer all your questions.
I can’t begin to fathom your games.
Your thoughts run in tangents I can’t follow,
and your emotions are a maze,
but I am here, at the centre of the maelstrom that is your life.
Though I may bend and shake with the whirlwind,
I will never break, I will flow.

Lady Satellite

This poem is for anyone who has a child with autism or anxiety, in their life. 

Introducing Lady Satellite and the 365 Poems Project

Hi, I'm Helen Jenour otherwise known as Lady Satellite. This blog is my personal challenge to get writing. I've always wanted to publish a book, but that's pretty difficult to do if you don't commit to writing! So here it is, a commitment to write the equivalent of one poem a day for a year and see what I end up with. Hopefully I will learn many things along the way and connect with like minded people. I am starting with the usual doubts and insecurities so I'll just put those out there, here and now:

• Can I produce 365 poems in a year? The answer is yes, but do I have enough commitment to see it through? That's a more relevant question. Who knows?

• Do I have enough topics to write about? Well I have lots going on in my life so that should give me plenty to write about but it could make it difficult to fulfil the challenge!

• Do I have enough talent or even any talent at all, for writing? Well I'll let you be the judge of that. Let me know what you think. It will help me improve.

• Will anyone want to read my work? I have no idea, but I do know that I have found great inspiration in things other people have written and would love to pass that on.

Here goes everything!
Lady Satellite