91: Catharsis

Poems, poems, going around in my head
If I write them down, will they get read?

Does anybody mind, in this world gone mad
If my poems are good, or if they are bad?

Oddly enough, I really don’t care
I’m writing for me, to be self-aware.

If however, my words strike a chord
Then please feel free, to give some applause!

If you don’t like, the words that I write
That’s okay, but please be polite.

They’re not all grand and complicated
Most are quick and simply stated.

It matters not, whether long or short
It is the process of writing, that makes me less fraught.

If you find yourself, with your features in a frown
I’d recommend, you write it down.

Identify the feeling, put it on paper
You will find, it turns into vapour.

Lady Satellite

90: Look Into My Eyes

Can you look me in the eye?
If you can’t, I’ll say goodbye.
Can you hold, my gaze a while?
Let me see you, without guile.

Eyes tell me, about your soul
They let me know, if you are whole.
If in you, I am to trust
I need to see them, that’s a must.

Eyes have been my greatest fear
When full of hate and oh so near.
Now they are my greatest asset
Guiding me, displaying your facets.

In all your moods I want to know
What is revealed by your globes.
If there’s love your eyes will shine
If there’s hate then you’re not mine.

Lady Satellite

89: Chinese Zodiac

A curious monkey
That is me
Gregarious and active
Wild and free.

Nimble, agile
Deft with my hands
Intelligent, daring
Cheeky, not bland.

Brave and fearless
Not sure about that
Persistent and tenacious
As a matter of fact.

Loses interest quickly
Well that might be true
Passionate and resourceful
But what about you?

If you’re an ox or a tiger

You’d better stay away
Snake, rat or dragon
Well we might be okay.

Lady Satellite

88: A Reminder

It’s not my time
To leave this plane.
You gave me a scare
But I won’t complain.

I’m here for the long haul

Not bowing out now
Life’s just got exciting
But Holy Freaking Cow!

When you came out of the dark
Like the angel of death
You made me wonder
About life and the rest.

I thought about dying

And what a waste that would be
So many things still to do
And places to see.

Just started a new job
in a place that I love
Writing is great
I can’t get enough.

Social life is awesome

So many opportunities there
To pursue my dreams
And go who knows where.

No I’m not looking 
My card isn’t marked.
It’s not time to leave
I’ve only just started!

Lady Satellite

87: Ready

I read to you tonight
You gave me courage, with your insight.
My head is reeling
But I want to remember this feeling.

At first there was a silence
I didn’t know how to take.
Were you confused?
Had I lost you?
Were you stumbling over words
To let me down gently?

These thoughts collide inside my brain.
Was the meaning too obscure?
Is my judgement faulty?
I felt this piece had merit
Was I misguided?
My pride has fallen.

I hear you speaking
But in my jaded state
I do not listen.
Blah blah blah write
Blah exhibit
Sell, blah blah publish…

But your voices are excited.
The energy catches hold of my heart
And ripples through me.
That word permeated my brain.
I am astonished.
Publish, you said publish!

I look up and see your faces
There is encouragement and more.
Ideas and suggestions
Not to improve or remodel
But to print to promote
To publish, to sell!

This feeling I really like
I want to stand before the mic’
You give me courage to perform
My enthusiasm reborn.

Lady Satellite

86: Earth Talks

Can you receive the signals I am sending you?
Can you hear me through the droning white noise you have surrounded yourself with?
Can you feel my presence beneath your feet?

You have filled your houses and lives with high frequencies and noise.
You have filled the night sky with light and all the land with pollution.
You have covered the land with hard reflective surfaces so that I cannot breathe and nor can you.

You have dulled your senses.
You no longer feel my vibrations.
You are tuned to radio static and have drowned me out.

The more things you switch on, the more you switch off your connection to me.
The more sound you have in your life, the more hopelessly out of tune with me you become.
The more things you take from me, the less I have to give.

Are you scared of the silence that echoes with truth?
Are you scared to remove the blinkers from your eyes?
Are you afraid to feel my pain because of your own guilt?

I am hurting yet you choose not to see.
I am dying but you have hardened your hearts.
I am losing my battle to sustain you.

Hear me before it is too late.
Heal me and I will repay you many fold.
Help me and in so doing help yourself.

Lady Satellite

85: What Kind Of Book Are You?

Are you a fascinating read
That nobody has taken out in years
Because your cover is all dusty
And your pages all dog-eared?

Does your cover promise much

That your pages fail to deliver
Are you glossy and appealing
But the tale you tell is bitter?

Are you highly recommended
Will my expectations be too great?
When I get to turn your pages
Will you be worth the wait?

When I look along the shelves
Seeking the perfect partner to curl up with tonight
Your cover must intrigue
And your words they must excite.

Lady Satellite

84: Rage

Rage is your pain
Seeking expression
and Release from your brain.

With a murderous look
Or biting words
It explodes outwards
Like acid rain
Corroding all
That get in the way.

You push it down
Because you’ve been trained
Not to let it out
Or admit your pain.
You keep the lid
Screwed down tight
Store it in the dark
Afraid of the light.

But the acid’s still there
Eating away
Until your stomach is sore
Every single day.
You cannot eat
When surrounded by lies
If you can’t express it
That’s no surprise.

We are taught from young
That anger is bad

But is there an alternative
When things make you mad?

Build higher defences
Retreat inside
Neither of these things
Will allow you to hide
That rotten core
Is on the inside.

Unexpressed rage
Is a dangerous thing
Threatening daily
Misery to bring.

So let it out
Find a safe way
Scream in the car

Or write it down
And throw it away
Once it’s gone
You’ll be happy today.

Lady Satellite

83: The Art Of Chill

Have you found that thing
The one that calms your mind?
Have you found a sweet, sweet path
That leads you to fully unwind?

Do you have a ritual place
Like a favourite chair with a drink to hand?
Or do you find peace in nature
Communing with the spirit of the land?

Is it music that takes you home
When your head is over full?
Does it free your mind of clutter
To follow the rhythmic pull?

Do you run hard and fast
And make your body work?
Does getting hot and sweaty
Stop your mind going berserk?

Can you enter
This precious space at will?
Or do you play tricks on yourself
To achieve the sacred state of chill?

Maybe you haven’t found
The key to this secret door just yet.
Maybe you’re not even on the path
And constantly expect
Life to be a battle over rocky ground
Which of course it is...

Unless you learn how to fly and soar
Beyond the boundaries of your thoughts
You cannot find peace within this life
The way you really ought.

For life is a wonderful gift
your were lucky to receive
You will not be truly happy
Unless you are able to believe this.

Being grateful is the key
To opening that great barricade
As thankfulness is practised
So progress can be made.

Lady Satellite

82: Storm Damage

Please don’t be nice to me
Not here
Not now
I can’t speak
I barely know how to stand
Leave me be
Let me gain command.

Please don’t be nice to me
This is not the time
Or the place
I can’t keep this up much longer
I’m on borrowed time
Please let me escape.

Please don’t be nice to me
Let me leave with dignity
Let me walk tall
As I depart
Let me make it to my car
Before I fall apart.

Please don’t be nice to me
Let me go and lick my wounds
Another day
I will be grateful
But just now
It is too soon.

Please don’t be nice to me
I have nothing left to give
The tanks are empty
I am spent
That wasn’t pretty
I cannot pretend.

Please don’t be nice to me
I need to release the pain
I need to be alone
To cry and scream again.
Then I’ll come back stronger
Then I’ll know just what to do
For the moment
I am weak
and vulnerable anew.

So please don’t be nice to me
I don’t want to cry in this public place
Let me leave this room intact
With my mask still on my face.

Lady Satellite

81: Calm Before The Storm

Waiting, waiting
Time for change
Face it, face it
Don’t delay
Dig deep, dig deep
Lead the way.

Move on, move on
The time is now.
Stay calm, stay calm
Let nothing show.
Walk tall, walk tall
And let it go.

Breathe, just breathe
And go with the flow.

It’s just a room
In a public building
This is no prison
Unless in your mind.
The people are all scared
Don’t take on their cares
Relax your body
Let your mind unwind.

The past is flown
The future is unknown
What more is there to say?
Love your life
Live your love
Enjoy being here today.

Yes, you can enjoy
What once was raw
Open your heart
And step through that door.

Lady Satellite

80: You've Got To Laugh!

It’s raining
It’s pouring
This man was boring
I went on a date
But he was late
By the time he arrived I was yawning.

The silly squirt
Bought a new shirt
And forgot to take off the sticker
He looked like a dill
With his front marked XL
It was all I could do not to snigger.

With his foot in a cast
He wasn’t very fast
Well the whole thing just made me laugh
There’s no future here
That’s abundantly clear
I’d rather go out with a giraffe!

Lady Satellite

79: A Woman's Refrain

What shall I wear?

What shall I wear?

Do I dress for me?
Do I dress for you?
If it’s what I want
Does is please you too?

What shall I wear?
What shall I wear?

I’m not on this planet
to entertain, but
If I like that you like it
Does that make me vain?

What shall I wear?
What shall I wear?

Oh Heaven knows!
The question remains.
I’ll say it again.
It’s the woman’s refrain.

What shall I wear?
What shall I wear?

Now why do I care?
That’s an interesting question.
Because my mood is declared
By my clothing expression.

What shall I wear?
What shall I wear?

Am I happy and bold
As I walk out the door?
Or feeling tired and old
Can’t be bothered with more?

What shall I wear?
What shall I wear?

That’s it! I’m done
Too much psycho-analysis!
Choosing my clothes
Has ended in paralysis!

What shall I wear?
What shall I wear?

Quick! Make a decision.
Is it comfort or style?
Well I’m driving today
So that’s comfort by a mile.

What shall I wear?
What shall I wear?

Grab that old cotton dress
My most comfortable shoes
Pull my hair off my face
Style you lose!

Lady Satellite

78: The Penguin Idol

Come worship me

I am your glittering idol
I contain all the mysteries of life
Bow down at my feet
Prostrate yourself in front of me
I will look down from my raised platform
And judge your sincerity.

Do not look me in the eye
You are not worthy
Do not dare to question my authority
You cannot think it possible
For I am the anointed one
I am gilded and bejewelled.

I rule from my place on high
My colours are resplendent
My wealth is vast
My knowledge is endless
You know nothing
You have never travelled beyond these walls
You have not communicated with enlightened beings

You are subjugated and you will stay that way.
I have made sure of it
My power base is secure
As long as ignorance is maintained I am unassailable
You will continue to grovel at my feet
That is all you are fit for.

Look at you
Such diminished creatures
Not one of you has the guts to stand against me
You really think your wretched lives are worth this?
Is life as you know it, so precious
That you would feed off your fellow man’s misery to preserve it?

You disgust me
The lot of you
In the name of sanity can no one see
That I am just a penguin?
A china ornament that looks good on this shelf
I am no God
You have been duped
You are deceived.

The only power I have is to mesmerise with my rich colours
And dazzle with my bold designs
Yet I was once mud and pigment
Fashioned into shape and hardened by the flame
Painted and gilded I was raised to the lofty heights
By my creator.

I might easily have been dropped and smashed into pieces
But no
I am here
High above you on this shelf
And you the ignorant, unthinking masses believe my lies
Because I look good!
Is this society so shallow that looks deceive all?
I tell you this because it is true
Your Gods are false idols
There is no God but you.

Lady Satellite

This was the result of a writing challenge where I was given a china ornament and the word 'flame' as inspiration. I bet the person who gave it to me never saw this coming!

77: The Lonely Journey

It feels dangerous to be here

Life feels unsafe.
I constantly feel tears threatening
To wash away the mask of happiness
I present to the world.

It feels like I am lying
Life feels unreal.
I recognise these feelings
Of shame and inadequacy
That stem from deep within.

It feels like I am failing
Life feels remote.
I cannot change these feelings
Unless I welcome them inside
And allow them full expression.

It feels like jumping off a cliff
Life feels terrifying.
I can feel the scream rising
As I fall steadily downwards
Lonely, Lonely
I am lonely
Say it
Feel it
Let it out
And let it go.

It feels like it will break me
Life feels over.
I allow myself to sink into the feeling
Into the unknown abyss
I howl like the wretched animal I feel
Until I am spent.

Then as I rearrange my fallen limbs
And test their ability to hold me up
I feel calm
I feel clarity and elation
As understanding rushes in
On a wave of excitement.

I know where this feeling comes from
I have pinpointed the exact moment
When I adopted feeling lonely
Instead of facing the shadows in my life
The darkness has melted away
With the light that is pouring in now.

I see facts without feeling lonely
I feel triumphant
I feel exultant
I have survived the leap into the unknown
I know who I am
I have repaired the hole in my heart.

Lady Satellite

76: One Cloud

Lonely as a swan without its mate
One cloud slips quietly across
The never-ending blue sky
The scene changing slowly
As the quiet breeze ruffles my hair.

Scanning the far horizon
For signs of a mate
I see only empty azure perfection
The barometer indicates no change
The weather is set fair.

Suddenly there is a playful wind
Twirling sand along the beach
As sand blocks my vision
The daylight dims a while
Gradually the stinging sand subsides

And calm returns to the beach.

The bright sunlight is strangely absent now
There is a new cloud in the sky
Blocking out the sun
Pushing that first lonely cloud along
Shoeing it protectively like a mother hen
One cloud is alone no more.

Lady Satellite

75: Life Is A Drama

Sometimes it feels like I am acting in a play
Sometimes I like the role
Sometimes I want to run away.

Some days I float across the stage

Enthralled with the story line
My senses totally engaged.

Some days I struggle with my lines
Fighting the words I have to say

Wanting a story more sublime.

Some days the action moves so fast
The writer cannot keep pace
Speechless I am left aghast.

Some days the scene is strangely quiet
Eerily calm I wait for the action to begin
Anxiously expecting a riot that perhaps never comes.

Sometimes I feel like a seasoned pro
Sometimes I feel a total novice
Sometimes I am not acting at all.

Lady Satellite

74: Making Change

Find the positive, seek it out
Hold it in sharp focus and give thanks for it
Do this often.

Now look for the synchronicity
What have you learnt today?
What piece of information
Crossed your path today with perfect timing?
Which key to solving a seemingly
Intractable problem were you given today?

Think about the people you met
Trawl through the conversations you had
Mine for that golden nugget of information
That clue, that opportunity
That will lead, who knows where?

Did you turn down an invitation
In favour of the familiar or the comfortable?
Can you guarantee the outcome
If you had said yes to something new?
You cannot, and that is where the magic lies
Say yes and give the Universe permission to change your life
Magic happens when you make room for it.

Do something positive to change your life today
And the Universe will join you in creating that change.
Try something new and experience the unknown.
Look for the positive
Find and appreciate the positive
Act and expect the positive.

Lady Satellite

73: Monday

Reach out
Push yourself
Go beyond your comfort zone
That’s where discoveries are made
That’s when learning comes.

So new to this
So much to learn
Out here on my own
Nearly went home
But glad I stayed
Here in the zone.

Every time I stumble
In each new situation
I discover truths about me
I see opportunities to grow
Things to uncover
Myself waiting to be known.

Lady Satellite

72: Not The Same

Every time, I relax my guard, think
He’s doing so well. What’s the harm?
You’re making a fuss. There’s nothing wrong.
He gets overwrought and comes undone.

His behaviour changes and I regret
Watching that movie, staying up late.
So good at the time, so happy to be
Here and involved, just like you and me.

But he really isn’t, and I must accept
There are limitations, there is cause and effect.
He doesn’t understand, the changes that take place
Just wants to join in with the others and keep pace.

Saying no is hard; the look says it all
Why can’t I watch the movie? This isn’t fair at all.
No it really isn’t, but it’s the only way
To keep your keel even, is more important day by day.

Lady Satellite

71: Saturday

Saturday dawns, cool and breezy
All on the beach, taking it easy.

Kids on the shoreline, casting out hooks
Parents in the shade, reading from books.

A racing car, built out of sand,
A jellyfish, caught by hand.

Sometime later, skin a bit red
Retreat to the shelter, of the wooden shed.

Play a few games, cook some tea
Then we’ll all sit round, for an outdoor movie.

Now off to bed, by the light of a lamp
There’s nothing quite like, being on camp.

Lady Satellite

70: Friday

First day of camping
First day of fun
Feeling kind of tired now
In fact I'm overdone.

First to bed without a doubt
Funny how it works
Frequently see midnight at home
But fresh air seems to work.

Fancy taking so much stuff
Fancy leaving the mallet out
Forgetting stuff feels part of the experience
It’s funny what you can do without.

Frenetic energy got me packed
Fabulous friends wheels got me here
Forgotten eighties music made me sing
And floating on air I shall sleep.

Friday soon will finish
Fluttering eyelids fasten shut
Fresh and early we will wake
A fried breakfast to cook up.

Lady Satellite

69: A Simple Life

So much to do
But I’m really in a daze
Last night was lots of fun
But now I’m feeling lazy.

Things to organise
Packing up to do
Find the tent, that’s vital
Sort out all the food.

It’s a simple life
Camping on the beach
But getting us prepared
Is proving quite a feat.

I know that I will love it
When the tent is all set up
But just at the moment
I cannot find the stuff.

Should be in this cupboard
Or maybe in the shed
So many things on the list
Going round in my head.

I’m sure I’ll forget something
In my foggy state of mind
As long as it’s not my son
Everything will be fine!

Lady Satellite

I shall continue to write but there will be a delay in publishing until I get back. That's assuming I do get organised by tomorrow!

68: Check Your Batteries

You don’t need prop’s
They’re just substitutes
For faith and belief
In yourself and your roots.

You have all that you need
Don’t ask for more
Take a journey inside
And open the door.

Wisdom, wealth
And opportunity
Are found within
Just set it free.

You created the barriers
Inside your mind
When you pursued those things
Under a negative sign.

You cannot bring joy
Into your life
While holding tight
To your struggle and strife.

Relax your grip
Open that door
Find the child inside
Frightened and poor.

Give them your love
That’s all they need
Acceptance, joyfulness
Not anger and greed.

There’s nothing to forgive
Throughout all the years
You were learning that’s all
Now release your fears.

Every day is new
Just like this year
Wash the slate clean
Brush away that tear.

Adore that child
Marvel at her progress
See what she survived
It’s a miracle no less.

Find respect for yourself
Give her love to be brave
Under a positive sign
The results will amaze.

Lady Satellite

This was my thoughts as New Year's Eve turned into New Year's Day. I think of each of us like little batteries with a positive or negative output based on what's in our heart and which way we push our energy. Whether we pour out love or pull in anger and hatred to our heart. I hope you all live under a positive sign this year.