I
want to stand up to you
But I can’t.
But I can’t.
I
think I am a strong independent woman
I reject the outrageous hurtful things you say and do
I fight back verbally
I reason and rationalise
I listen and sympathise
I stand up for my kids and then cower
When you turn those malevolent eyes on me.
I reject the outrageous hurtful things you say and do
I fight back verbally
I reason and rationalise
I listen and sympathise
I stand up for my kids and then cower
When you turn those malevolent eyes on me.
My
anger and indignation will only get me so far
My sense of right and wrong
Dissolves under threat of physical violence
I am a coward and I hate myself for it.
My sense of right and wrong
Dissolves under threat of physical violence
I am a coward and I hate myself for it.
How
did I get here?
How did I lose myself so completely
And become this hologram?
How does an intelligent woman wind up in a therapist’s chair
Deep in shock after hearing the words
How did I lose myself so completely
And become this hologram?
How does an intelligent woman wind up in a therapist’s chair
Deep in shock after hearing the words
“You realise
this is domestic violence.”
I
can’t take it in
Not in that moment
In fact not for a whole year
A year of watching my own life play out like a UN observer
A year of excuses and defensiveness
While the evidence around me stockpiles.
Not in that moment
In fact not for a whole year
A year of watching my own life play out like a UN observer
A year of excuses and defensiveness
While the evidence around me stockpiles.
Finally
my internal siege walls tumble
And the shocking reality of our existence
Becomes visible to even my blinkered eyes.
And the shocking reality of our existence
Becomes visible to even my blinkered eyes.
The truth has been accepted.
Lady Satellite
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