188: What to Wear for a Swim?

So many different outfits

you can see at the swimming pool
from the ‘oh no thanks’ budgie smugglers
to the seriously cool.

So much costume variety
you can find at the beach
some with acres on display
some with it all tucked up out of reach.

My thoughts on this issue
have changed over the years
along with body confidence
fashion and skin cancer fears.

In my twenties I loved the sun
and a tan I would seek
so I wore a string bikini
in Hawaii for a week.

Yes the waterfall was superb
and the weather was divine
but the company left much to be desired
as his comments undermined.

So I put away the two-piece
and stayed out of the water
till I had kids to teach
and got in again with my daughter.

But my confidence was shot
so I hid for ten long years
wearing an all black Speedo
prevented further tears.

When I got rid of that man
well my confidence it came back
so I took myself off shopping
for a costume that wasn’t black.

I bought a halter neck style
in my favourite aqua blue
it was pretty, frilly and feminine
and I looked good in it too.

So I headed to the pool
to take an aqua-fit class
I was so proud of that costume
but that feeling didn’t last.

The problem was apparent
as I stepped into the water
that beautiful frill just floated
and didn’t stay where it ought ’a.

How’s a girl supposed to exercise

when tangled up in lycra?
I couldn’t figure it out
so I just bought something tighter.

Today at the leisure centre
it was back to black again
this one a tight-fitting sexy number
that to put on was a pain.

Well I wriggled and I jiggled
for a whole ten minutes
but eventually I managed
to get my body in it.

I walked out in the water
feeling confident and fab
no floaty bits to trap me
and no sign of any flab.

I started in the shallows
and headed for the deep
just a leisurely breast stroke
as I had no time to beat.

Around about half way
I was struggling quite a bit
breathing was a little difficult
obviously not that fit.

I valiantly swam on
until I completed my four lengths
then I near collapsed
totally devoid of strength.

I couldn’t understand
what had happened to my fitness
as my world began to spin
I felt sick and quite ridiculous.

Then it hit me with great force
something’s cutting the blood supply
it’s this costume that’s the cause
and without oxygen I’ll die.

So it’s back to the shops for me
this one just won’t do
of course I could try skinny dipping
but I don’t think that’s legal. Do you?

Lady Satellite