225: Letter to a Poet

I love it when time is taken to shape words into thoughts

I hope the writer finds it therapeutic, as I do of course
the rhythm and the rhymes
become the focus of my mind
as I play with the words
the thoughts appear quite unobserved.

Truth sneaks out when not held back
when the constant conscious effort to restrain goes slack
as I push all my energy into beautiful word connections
raw emotion does not suffer its usual untimely rejection
and so it seeks freedom of expression and reaches for the light
bubbling freely with abandon a true reflection of what is real and what is right.

What cannot easily be aired when head is pounding and eyes are red
will surface effortlessly when the barriers are unmanned
and the words can frolic around without some grand restrictive plan
the mind plays tricks and clouds the simplistic brain
seeking to forget and smother all the pain
the truth is fettered along with love and all reality
I need these escaping words to say painful things and give me sanity.

My mission, let’s be clear
is love and never fear
to open the door and watch the monsters run
to feel relief as their terrorising shadows melt and die in the sun
then I know my fears were some insubstantial vapour
never to be given the power of the hand held upper.

Thoughts can be a deceitful slippery slope
one covered in black ice, where you really need a rope
not to hang yourself high and hasten death
but of love to haul you higher so you fly gracefully with each breath
come let us soar like those wedge tail eagles paired for life
trusting in a wind they cannot see
but whose existence gives them flight.

Lady Satellite

221: Mistress Pain

Integrate or disintegrate

that’s what I have to do.
Shine the love on the fear
and melt it away,
can’t live with black ice, my dear.

I understand, I feel your pain
but do I want to face it again?
As adrenalin surges
the blood rush urges
‘Get out! Run away! It’s not safe!’

Is loving enough?
When times get rough
as you fight your inner demons
will you change?
First show me a little
then with safety comes more
as you seek the familiarity of pain.

Will I leave through that door
pushed unwillingly by your core
but what if my love is stronger?
Will you jump into her arms
be embraced by her charms
will Mistress Pain take you in the long run?

Lady Satellite

221: Halloween

221: Halloween

Missing you now
when the night is darkest
though the orange lights twinkle
and the costumes sparkle.

Conversation flows
and the games begin
but nothing soothes the ache
of empty within.

Being alone is somehow
gentler on the soul
than being at a party
when your heart isn’t whole.

Nothing bears comparison
to the joy we create
when we chatter and laugh
or challenge and debate.

Despite the costumes and the gaiety
this whole throng is dull.
Twittering about nothing of consequence
is all very well
but without the light in your eyes
and the pull of your heart
I haven’t the tolerance for foolishness
or to practice this art.

The alcoholic hit of a cocktail
won’t convince me this is fun.
What use is jellied vodka
will it fight the urge to run?
Why let the spirits fuel my pain
and trap me into staying?
Don’t want to dance drunkenly with another,
only your arms should feel me swaying.

To linger is foolish torture
simply, no need to endure.
Not enriched by fake enjoyment
without mon bel amour.
Ceding defeat I head for home
as inebriation sets in all around,
a strategic retreat to cover emotion
before hot tears betray me on the ground.

Lady Satellite

207: Reality Check

Actions speak louder
than those three little words
though women’s hearts’ melt
when first they are heard.

In our youth we believe
the words people say
maturity brings wisdom
to notice each day.

Little things people do
demonstrate as fact
the way that they feel
in the way that they act.

Lady Satellite

206: Trust

I have sought
but have not found
a reason to retreat
to higher ground.

I fear the delusion
of wishful thinking
and question my motives
for enjoying and believing.

How do I trust

that four letter word
after a life of pain
have I found the reverse?

I question this vine
that binds us together
are you strong enough
to withstand all weather?

Then day by day
I see bright new shoots
and feel the earth move
as it puts out more roots.

Blossoms adorn it
soon the flowers will set
a beautiful crop
of the sweetest fruit yet.

Lady Satellite

191: Addiction

Love charges around my circuitry making connections like never before.
Endorphins have me skipping from crest to crest as if these great ocean waves were solid.

All fear gone, I dance with abandon, joyfully expressing my soul.
Dipping down into the trough I throw handfuls of blackened water to the sky and laugh as droplets shimmer when exposed to light.

Withholding nothing, I revel in the freedom of feeling all.

Diving into the water feeds my hunger to know myself through new experiences.
Pushing down I reach the quiet depths where a broken vessel teaming with life and colour is a wreck no more; claimed by the ocean, re-purposed and made beautiful again.

Lady Satellite

144: Infinity

What a privilege, to experience infinity
To live a moment, so vast it cannot be measured
When time is just a bystander
To a mind expanding realisation
To the dawn of understanding
When love illuminates our lives
A beautiful memory of clarity and elation
That bisects your life into before and after
An occasion you will forever cherish and replay
Joyfully, relentlessly, eternally.

It matters not, how much earthly time we have
The feeling in that sacred space is beyond words and beyond this realm
The experience is infinite, immortal, interconnected.
I challenge the humanist, the scientist and the Darwinist
To tell me what this feeling is
If it’s not love
If it’s not divine
If it’s not beyond our physical body
What is this feeling?

Tell me there is a chemical reaction
Talk about endorphins and receptors
Theorise all you want
Love transcends reason and rationality
If you don’t believe this, you haven’t felt it
To experience love is to experience the infinite
To love is a privilege.

Lady Satellite

This was written after watching The Fault In Our Stars. It was inspired by John Green's quote "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities"

141: Dance With Me

I love you
You know I do
I will not say it yet
But it is implied in everything I do
You know the truth
You feel it moving deep inside
Why hide?
You know it’s true
I hide just the same as you.

Fear holds us back
So much to gain
Yet so much to lose
Fragile hearts at risk
Each scared to say what is obvious
Each scared to lose the freedom they hold dear
And so we dance
Circling close and twisting away
Air crackling with unspoken feelings
Who will dare to go first?
Who will risk frightening the other?

How strange this dance is
For there is no risk
We are not fragile
This sweet ache will not kill us
If the emotion is shared we will dance ever closer
If the emotion is unequal we were never meant to be partners
Say nothing
Just dance with me
You don’t know the steps and nor do I
Let the rhythm will take us
We have nothing of value to lose
But what we have to gain is priceless.

Lady Satellite

123: Man Enough

Are you man enough
To ignore my past
And see the woman
Standing here?

Are you man enough
To fall in love
To feel out of control
And ignore the fear?

Are you man enough
To stand by my side
To feel the excitement
And join in this ride?

Are you man enough
To catch this train
Not knowing our destiny
Risking the pain?

Don’t flirt with me
If the answer is no
If you’re scared of pain
Then you’d better go.

Don’t flirt with me
Unless you’re man enough
To fall in love.

Lady Satellite

121: Song - Rocks And Gold

Intro

I like diamonds
You like gold
But we need both
Or love will grow cold.

I’m telling you girl
It’s the way of the world
If he treats you like diamond
Then give him gold
If he treats you bad
Then let him get cold
That’s the deal you strike
When your heart’s been sold.

I’m telling you boy
If we’re gonna get old
You’d better learn fast
Or you’re gonna get cold
If you want my body
To keep you warm at night
Then make me feel treasured
And I’ll treat you right.

I’m telling you girl
Because you need to know
That guys need lovin’
Or their feelings slow
If you don’t feel cherished
The passion goes cold
He’ll lose interest
If you’re not giving him gold.

Chorus

Rocks and gold
Just rocks and gold
That’s what it’s all about
When your heart is sold
It’s just a trade for rocks and gold.

Outro

Make me feel like a diamond
And I’ll give you gold.

I like diamonds
You like gold
But we need both
Or love will grow cold.

Lady Satellite

119: Life Without Limits

I breathe and you come closer
With every inward breath your thoughts turn in my direction
With every exhalation I connect to you
There is a natural rhythm here that won’t be denied.

Neither time nor space exist
The energy between us is a living being
We slip into that other reality, that parallel universe
Where fear and negativity are unknown.

We have no need to limit our experience
Love surrounds and nurtures
Permeating every thought.

This super-charged atmosphere is rich in opportunity
Our hearts expand to their full potential
As we discard our physical form
Love is all there is.

Lady Satellite

105: Not You

I want my freedom
You want yours
But the time we’re together
I adore.

I’d give it all up
Just to be with you
To take time and find out
If we’re one or two.

I really don’t know
It’s a scary thought
But I’d like to see you
More and more.

I try to speak
And choke on my words
‘Cause I know you’re not ready
For those things to be heard.

Slowly, slowly
Is the only way
But I find it harder
With each passing day.

I don’t want to fall in love
Unless it’s the same for you
I’m scared to admit
How much I wish it was true.

I look elsewhere
Hoping to find
Somebody else
To distract my mind.

But it’s not working
Because all I do
Is sit across the table
And compare them to you.

Lady Satellite

102: What Are You Looking For?

Give me adventure

Take me higher
On the top of the world
Emotions on fire.

Give me reliable
But not always the same
Keep me enthralled
Entice my brain.

Give me excitement
Don’t let me get bored
Challenge my senses
Be my adored.

Give me commitment
But please go away
I need to miss you
Can’t do every day.

Give me compliments
But make them sincere
I want to delight you
I hold you dear.

Give me honesty
Never, never lie
If you can’t do this
What we have will die.

Give me enthusiasm
I love your persistence
Try to persuade me
Overcome my resistance.

Give me your stamina
I admire your fitness
Push me to match you

Help with my weakness.

Give me your emotions
Put them into words
Show me your thoughts
Make me part of your world.

Give me your everything
Let nothing lack
I’ll give you my all
And love you right back.

Lady Satellite

101: Love

Where have you come from?
This fire
This energy
This enthusiasm.

I am invincible
I am on fire
I am alive and vibrant.

Everything makes me happy
I skip over every obstacle
Or run around laughing gleefully.
So what’s a detour between friends?
It’s just a longer ride.

Does it matter if I can’t see you today?
Why be sad?
When I’ll have the pleasure
Of anticipation all though tomorrow.

While I work, I’ll be day-dreaming
Typing with tempo as my heart races
My smile driven by that furnace inside my chest
Stoked by your jesting messages.

This is fun and fun is irrepressible
It will not be contained
It bubbles and spills over
Contaminating all those around
It stops anger in its tracks.

Be that child again
The one that has a fit of the giggles and can’t stop
Even when the teacher is on the warpath.

The one that’s sitting there fit to burst
Trying to contain this effervescent mirth.

The one that collapses on the floor
Laughing uncontrollably and can’t remember
Why we started laughing.

Tenderness, fun and passion
Are different faces of love.
That was not love, that hated innocent childish laughter.

The safety and security to be a fool
And laugh till you snort and cry
With your face creased, incapable of speech.
That’s love.

The tenderness that gently wipes your face
Like a child, as you lie there spent
From your fit of laughing.
That’s love.

The passion that desires you
When you have abandoned your dignity
In surrender to the emotional storm, that took you over
Despite a dripping face and panda smudged eyes.
That’s love.

Surrender to me
It’s easy
Fall in love.

Lady Satellite

33: The Child

Feed me
love me
nourish me
forever.

Guide me
love me
treasure me
as I grow.

Hear me
love me
heal me
once again.

Watch me
give me space
love me
let me go.

Lady Satellite

32: A Love Hate Relationship with Relationships

Love to spread out at night;
hate the space in my bed.

Love having no one to judge;
hate having no one to admire.

Love having no one to tell;
hate having no one to ask.

Love having no one to feed;
hate eating on my own.

Love having the house to myself;
hate feeling alone.

Love the freedom to choose;
hate the responsibility I cannot share.

Love not being needed;
hate having no one that cares.

Love having my own place;
hate having to do the maintenance.

Love the peace and quiet;
hate the silent emptiness.

Love having no one to please;
hate having no one to pleasure.

Love having no one to torment;
hate having no one to treasure.

Lady Satellite